Gottman Method vs. EFT: which couples therapy fits you?

If you’ve started looking into couples counseling, you’ve probably seen the names Gottman and EFT. Both are well-researched, both help couples reconnect, and both are offered at Riverside. They just come at the work from different directions.

The Gottman Method

Developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman from decades of research on what makes relationships succeed or struggle, the Gottman Method is practical and skills-focused.

• Usually begins with a thorough assessment of your relationship’s strengths and challenges
• Focuses on concrete skills: managing conflict, repairing after arguments, and building friendship and trust
• Works with patterns the research identified as harmful — criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling
• Often includes exercises to practice between sessions

Many couples like Gottman because it’s structured and gives them clear tools to use right away.

Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT)

Developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, EFT is grounded in attachment science — the idea that we all need to feel safe, seen, and connected with the people closest to us.

• Helps couples recognize the negative cycle they get stuck in, and see it as the problem rather than each other
• Goes underneath arguments to the feelings and needs driving them
• Helps partners reach for each other in new, safer ways
• Tends to be more emotion-focused and less homework-based

Many couples like EFT because it helps them understand why the same fights keep happening — and feel closer, not just argue less.

How to choose

• Want structure and practical tools? Gottman may be a great fit.
• Feel stuck in the same painful cycle, or disconnected? EFT may be a great fit.
• Not sure? That’s normal. The fit with your therapist matters as much as the method.

Couples counseling at Riverside

Patrosky Anderson uses the Gottman Method, and Mary Westergren uses Emotionally Focused Therapy. Several other Riverside clinicians also see couples. The Find Your Match tool can show you who fits your schedule, location, and insurance.